29 July 2005

Fridge fascists must die!

You realize you're hanging on by a thread when you arrive in the office in the morning, looking forward to the leftover Starbucks iced coffee you left in the fridge the day before (and not having had any caffeine yet in the day, you're really looking forward to it), to find that the hyper-compulsive facility manager has tossed it out as part of his bi-weekly purge, and you have a near-total meltdown. Two hours and a cup of weak office coffee later, and I still haven't recovered.

He also dumped my juice. (Shown here; $1.75 at the corner deli.)

The thing is, when the HCFM announced the purge, I marched into the kitchen and wrote my name and the date on my items. Isn't that standard office fridge saving protocol, as much as it pains me to admit that I know that there is such a thing? How can we come to work with equanimity when we know that at any moment the things we were counting on might disappear? Is nothing sacred?

Suggestions about how I might get back at the HCFM will be greatly appreciated.


Blogger Pedestrian Rage said...

How infuriating!!! I think you should talk to him about what you're supposed to do with your things in the fridge other than what you've done. He can't expect you to store something like a coffee in your desk overnight. Just don't sound pissed off about it -- sound like you're just wondering what the plan is for next time.

By the way, that V8 is not juice. It's a suggestion of juice. A reminiscence of juices past. Have you read the ingredients on that bottle? :)

12:58 PM  
Blogger Excellent Walker said...

Oh, I know it's not juice. But water has been tasting funny to me lately -- I think it's the medication I'm taking -- so I add a drop of "juice" to it. Not very much at all, but it makes it palatable.

1:18 PM  
Blogger PG said...

You could always invest in a tuck box...to segregate your stuff; this reinforces the idea that it is 'your' tucker, and he will be crossing a pretty big boundary if he opens it and empties it. If he's that manic, you could buy a padlock and chain for it...start worrying when you find it's been broken into with bolt cutters though!

2:45 PM  
Blogger Stuntmother said...

Once when I was living with an ugly girl who thought she was pretty, she threw out my bananas that I was saving for banana bread. They were pretty ripe but it still seemed a violation. I thought that was bad. This calls for war.

You could put some hash brownies in the refrigerator with a little sign that says: Have one! and then order "random" drug testing. Or you could put laxatives into his coffee. Or maybe you could just write a snitty little memo stipulating what standard office fridge protocol is.

I will think on this further.

11:55 PM  

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