Ouch

Even a casual viewer of " What Not to Wear," the television series dedicated to showing women how wrong their fashion choices are, knows that the shoes make the outfit. You can have the sleekest black dress on, but with a pair of chunky, one-inch, unpolished jobs on your feet, you pretty much look like the trash collector. Or at least, that's what Stacy and Clinton would like you to think.

I am more than a casual viewer of WNTW, and I agree with them. Unfortunately, the three+-inch heels they generally recommend are an impossible daily choice for the average New Yorker, let alone an Excellent Walker like myself. Add to that the fact that I need to wear orthotics, which can't be worn in most shoes, and you'll understand why getting dressed is a daily frustration for me.

This is a transitional time of year for most women's feet. The weather is warm enough for sandals, i.e., bare feet wrapped in narrow straps of leather. Those places where the straps meet the skin are still tender from being swaddled in socks and stockings all winter; you'll see a lot of band-aids on the backs of ankles for the next few weeks.

I made the huge mistake of stepping out on Saturday in a pair of shoes I thought might bridge the gap between fashion and comfort. (Aside: this cannot be done; I should really throw in with one side or the other and be done with it.) After walking a mile in my shoes, the backs of my ankles were rubbed raw. Instead of stopping for some socks -- which would have looked stupid, but who cares -- I kept going. Even after changing later in the day to real shoes, with socks, the damage was so extensive that every step just made it worse.

I am left with one footwear choice until I heal: backless. What kind of an idiot am I? Not only are the clogs I'm wearing not Stacy and Clinton approved (I bought them to wear on long airplane flights, I swear), they are impossible to walk in for more than a few blocks.

So, to recap: during a beautiful spring week, when I would otherwise be walking everywhere, I both look like the trash collector and am taking the subway.