16 March 2006

I Hate These People: The Co-op Board, Part 6

The broker called yesterday to give me tips for my co-op board interview, to wit:

- "Dress verrrrrry conservatively." I guess this means pulling the pants suit out of the back of the closet. I should probably do this soon enough to get it dry cleaned; I'm sure the cats have been nesting in it.
- "They will probably ask you about your cats." What is there to say? They're cats. They sleep 90% of the time.
- "Make sure you tell them you love the apartment as is. You don't want them to think you're going to come in and make renovations."
- "They'll probably ask about your social life. Don't lie, but you should probably say things like 'oh, I never have parties; I only listen to classical music; I like to go out to the movies.'"
- "You never rehearse your singing in the apartment."

I know this is the broker being overly cautious, but don't you just love these people already? I think my birthday -- April 22nd -- would be a good day for my first party, don't you?

7 Comments:

Blogger Pedestrian Rage said...

Ha! That seems like pretty specific advice, but what I'd say is: Be yourself. Your package already shows how responsible you are, and the best thing you can do in the interview is not lie about who you are -- the worst type of interview (in all situations) is when the interviewer thinks the interviewee is being guarded. So I don't think there's a need to lie or misrepresent. Your broker's advice is probably the same advice he gives to everyone -- and some people actually need to hear things like that....

You're going to be stellar, and they will love you! I'll bet you discover they're real people and that some of them are nice and/or cool.

11:42 AM  
Blogger PG said...

I hate it when you have to make apologies for cats...we had to sign a form saying we'd get the cottage fumigated when we left because we had two cats...(actually we've got four now, but that's another story).

Good luck - think Conservative!

5:34 PM  
Blogger tammara said...

"The cats are neutered and declawed." (Whether they are or not.) I discovered how people are about cats when I got my first apt. Only people who do not have cats ask those dumb questions. Cats are the cleanest animals you can get. (Except to any clothing you have that is black or navy!)

I doubt you are a person who would ever need to be told to 'lower the volume up there.' Your broker is definitely being overly cautious. Get the pantsuit cleaned and be yourself! I hope you are all moved in and party-ready on 4/22.

10:40 AM  
Blogger Oldsoul_NotQuite said...

The whole co-op process/system has a hint of communism/fascism to it. Does your social life really need to be a determinant in whether you can buy an apartment?

11:47 AM  
Blogger Stuntmother said...

Ook I thought I commented already! What I wanted to say is that you are beautiful and charming, well-educated, nicely spoken and classy. You could not screw this up unless you tried -- honestly. They will LOVE you and you won't have to even prevaricate. I mean, how many drug-crazed punk rock bands do you regularly host?

I know that this isn't the point philosophically or politically (hands off my life, Coop Cretins!) but practically, it is. Practically, you pass muster and though it is upsetting to think they can sit in judgement of you, feel at least happy in the knowledge that you can easily jump through their hoops and then you have an apartment! Your OWN apartment! Yahoo!

2:04 PM  
Blogger Les Trois Chats said...

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7:29 PM  
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